Inner Confidence

Have you ever gone out to a bar with the goal of getting a phone number, a kiss or having a great interaction?

If you're answer is "no" then I know you are a liar! We've all been there and you may be wondering, "What's wrong with doing that?"

Well, there's nothing wrong with that but when we set a goal and it doesn't happen, most of us beat ourselves up and decide to try harder next time.

Next time rolls around and since we have decided to try harder, we make the goal even tougher and push ourselves even more.

It doesn't happen and we beat ourselves up again.

This is a major mistake guys make that crushes their inner game because it turns into a vicious circle.

Pretty soon you're having no fun, getting no results, and your  inner confidence starts getting worse.

The problem is not that we suck, the problem is that our goals suck!

Key Point: Your goals must be measurable and achievable with certainty.

You can approach every woman in the bar or the party but you can't set the goal to get a date because you can't force someone to say yes.

What other people do isn't under your control!

But whats absolutely under your control is what you do.

You can set the goal to ask 5 women for dates because you can control it. All you have to do is ask.

When you set your goals on things you can control, you set yourself up for success  because you can guarantee yourself a win

So how can you set your goals so that their absolutely under your control  and are fun?

Here is my goal setting process:

 1. Ask yourself what you want.
 2. See if it's measurable.
 3. Determine how realistic it is.
 4. Make sure it involves fun.
 5. Make sure it pushes your comfort zone a little but not too much.

Example:

 1. I want to go out and talk to women.
 2. Oops, that is not measurable, let's say 5 women.
 3. Is it realistic? 5 might be too many. Let's say 2 instead.
 4. Is it gonna be fun? It will be fun if they are friendly. Wait, I can't control if they are going to be friendly so that is a bad goal. What do I want instead? I want to talk to 2 women and I want them to like me. I can't control that either but I think I'll feel better if I am honest about that. OK, so I'm going to approach two women and tell them that I want them to like me. Ok that sounds like fun!
 5. Actually, I think 2 women is slightly too easy, let's make it 3 women.

So I went out, approached 3 groups of women by walking over and saying "Hey, I don't know what to say to you, but I want you to like me."

The first group busted up and said "HAHA, that is the most honest thing I've heard tonight!"

The next group looked at me like I was retarded, and the last group loved me and we talked for 15 minutes.

Are you seeing how it works?

Set yourself up for success. If you can control your destiny, you will succeed.

You simply set a goal and you go out and make it happen. Nothing builds more inner confidence  than taking action, getting results, feeling more confident and then repeating the pattern.

It all starts with the goals you set.